Making
Momsense!
Give Me A Break!
A Mom’s Five Step Plan to Prioritizing
Some Time for Herself
By Peggy Kline, C.N.O
(Chief Nurturing Officer ™)
Busy mom Amy, mother of two young sons, sent www.MotheringMoms.com a wonderful piece of insight that just about every mom can relate to “I never thought I would view laying in bed sick all day as a luxury. As I type this, my husband is beginning his 28th hour straight of lying in bed with the flu. I know that he feels like crud, but I keep finding myself annoyed with him because I can’t even begin to imagine a scenario which I’d be able to take to my bed for the better part of two days."
It’s a mathematical perplexity how much mothers can cram into one to-do list! However, according to a national study on today’s moms, the number one cause for stress in her life is that she puts herself dead last on her list, if not completely forgotten. By the time she hits her head on the pillow at night, her treat for the day is having the energy to brush her teeth, wash her face and coat on a little cream that promises to make her face look lovely and bright. However, considering the minimal amount of sleep she usually gets, there should be a disclaimer on the back of the bottle. Is this sounding a bit familiar on some or most of your days? Have we got a plan for you!
STEP ONE –Break Time
The business of being a mom requires effective time management and productivity. Scheduling, yes ~ I said scheduling a bit of breathing time for yourself will actually increase your productivity. In any important position you may undertake, if you worked continually, what do you think would happen to your productivity? Would it increase or decrease? What about your creativity? Most important of all, how about your attitude? Are you just a fun person to be around? Since the Industrial Revolution, it became clear that human beings function better and improve the bottom line when they are well rested. In fact, they even pay people to take vacations! “Leave, go have fun, relax and come back and perform your best.”
On some days announcing that you are leaving for the Bahamas indefinitely sounds very appealing, even if impossible. Yet you can create your own mini-vacations; delight in chocolate, reading a good book in bed, call a girlfriend to giggle and grieve about your loss of sleep. When you’re in the grocery store (by yourself) buy one little splurge in the Health and Beauty Isle. The new lipstick shade you have been eyeing perhaps. Find the little things that you enjoy doing that will give you some relief and release the pressure valve.
STEP TWO-Get It In Writing
I would love to tell you that the romantic notion of just letting Calgon take you away to some fantasy place while you relax in bubbles in your bathtub, is the cure-all. . .but you and I both know better. First of all, if you are in the bathtub, chances are some little fist may be pounding on the bathroom door screaming “Maawwwmmm!” or you have an infant seat on the floor next to the tub filled with a little audience. Pull out a pen and your planner and literally schedule a few hours away from your wonderful world of kids and commotion each week. It will not just magically happen. Put it in ink and honor it. You are a much better mom when you have had a chance to catch your breath and gain a new perspective.
STEP THREE-Get Your Team In Place
It doesn’t matter that you are away from home if your mind is not. There is nothing, and I mean nothing more important for a mom than to be able to feel confident that all is going well and her little ones are being well taken care of in her absence. Otherwise, her tension is up and her enthusiasm is down. Putting a team of trustworthy people together gives you that much needed hiatus. It may be your partner, or one of your parents, a friend or a close neighbor. You need to put together a terrific team so that when you need to call a time out, there are special players in place while you are on the sidelines for a little bit. This really helps to make you an even better parent–player!
STEP FOUR – Make the Investment
According to Salary-Dot-Com, based on the number of hours a mom works in the important profession of motherhood, her annual salary should be about 134 thousand dollars a year (yes. . .that is a thousand in there). Wouldn’t we all love to collect our back salary? Yet we know that much of the payment for the role of motherhood is priceless; seeing first steps, the smell of a newborn nestled in your neck, the first time your little one sleeps through the night . . . and so do you.
You’re in the business of raising a family. It’s a critical contribution to our world. You need to know that when you invest in your care and well being it pays huge dividends to the family structure. So review your family budget and see when it is possible to add a night at the movies with girlfriends. Set aside a bit of your budget for a dinner date with the Dad. If the budget is tight and paying a babysitter is what stands in your way or grandma lives out of town, exchange and barter with your other mom girlfriends, trust me, they want a little time too. You don’t have to break the bank to invest in yourself, but if you continue to neglect your own needs you’ll be emotionally bankrupt in no time.
STEP FIVE- Divide and Conquer
When you finally do get a little time for you, what to do? The answer is divide and conquer! Being savvy with the limited amount of time you have is especially important. Balance between your need to relax, revitalize, and renew. Relax is a precious word in a mom’s vocabulary. It’s when your only goal is to rest and then do nothing afterward! Slump on the couch, stretch out on a beach (aahhhh), rest on a lounge chair. Sometimes the less you do the better you will feel. When the mirror makes a funny face at you and then you realize it was yours, maybe you need to revitalize. Exercise is a way to revitalize your body. It not only moves your muscles, but recharges your energy level. When you feel like your hair hangs like the mop in your closet, revitalize your look with a new style. If you cannot remember the last time that you and your beloved looked in each others eyes instead of at the clock when one of your kids starts crying in the middle of the night, it’s long over due for the two of you to renew! Having time to “your-self” does not mean you have to be by yourself! Renew relationships that you have let collect the dust of the depleted. When was the last time that you went away for the weekend with the love of your life? Spent a do-nothing day with a friend or even your own mom that consists of just talking, laughing and letting yourself just focus on fun? Decide in each of these areas of relax, revitalize and renew, which one in your life needs a little more of your attention . . . then divide and conquer!
Give yourself a break and be honest about what you’re really like when you haven’t had one in a very long time! You deserve it and . . . so does your family!
Peggy Kline, C.N.O. (Chief Nurturing Officer ™) is the founder of Mothering Moms Inc and Motherhood University. She is an award winning national speaker and author. Visit www.motheringmoms.com, for more much deserved T.L.C.!
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